Salty Flood
She walked down the street and felt the rain pouring. Her tears joined the downward dance. She could not tell the difference between her salty tears and the pounding water. The liquid began rising until it was up to her shaking knees. She soon began to panic. She thought of where to go. She refused to go back home. She needed to stop crying, for now the warm pool of tears and water were creeping up her shirt. She looked around and saw no one. She thought of Luke, his house is only four blocks away. She began to trip and fumble quickly towards the house. It was taking so long. There became a fast and violent current pushing her about in the street. Now she was on her tip toes trying to see where she was going. The rain was pounding hard and tears kept flowing. Soon she began to struggle. She knew how to swim but it has been so long. She was always scared of the water. She got pulled under and struggled to reach the surface. This went on for quite a while. The water began to fill her lungs. The weight in her body began to pull her down even farther. She choked violently on her own beads of stress mixed with this hellish beauty called rain. She couldnt handle all of this. She bobbed up out of the water and saw the house that she was trying to get to. Luke! she finally screamed out between coughs and gags. Help me!! The flooding pool of tears and rain began to beat against Lukes front door. Her eyes went over his house. Over and over again until, she saw him. He was gazing out the window, frightened by the flooding. His eyes meet hers and he was in complete shock. Loretta!! He was yelling furiously. He ran to the door and unlocked all of the locks. Then he dove right into the flood. He swam towards her with nothing else on him mind but Loretta. He was yards away from her. The current became worse swallowing her whole. She was tossed around like a rag doll. Loretta! No!! Luke screamed, beginning to cry himself. He went on even faster than before. Her lungs became worse, being filled with even more salty liquid. Her body was too weak. Her lungs werent large enough to hold all the water. Lightning struck followed by a horrid cacophony. Luke still charged on. He couldnt find her anywhere. It was too dark. He went under water again. He couldnt make out any of the figures. He struggled to get above the water. He saw something floating about 10 yards away. He swam towards it in terror. The water was still rising. You could hear screams and windows breaking. Minutes seemed like hours. He soon reached the object and flipped it over. Loretta!! He screamed, Wake up!! She was still and lifeless. He took her body. One hand free to swim with and one arm around her stomach. Almost an hour later he reached his house. The door was completely under water. He thought of the hill down the street and rushed as fast as he could towards it. Hours later he was still holding on there her as tight as he was before. He climbed up the tall him as quickly as he could. Once he reached the top he flopped her limp body onto the moist ground. He knew there was no use, nothing could help her. He looked down at her pale body and kissed her cold blue lips. It was no surprise that she did not kiss back. The one thing that was unforgettable was the way the tears still crept from her shut eyes. He lay beside her and wrapped his arms around her soaked body. He drifted off to sleep.
July 9, 2002
Unacceptable
Our motions are unimaginable
My love for you is unbelievable
The love you give me is unthinkable
The words you speak are unfathomable
The feelings I feel are unchangeable
The love I seek is unbreakable
The moves we make are unpredictable
The heart I give you is unredeemable
Our relationship is unconformable
You proved I am not unlovable
Waking up from my dream is unacceptable
October 10, 02
Dedicated to Anthony
I Am
I am angry and heart-broken
I wonder if I will find something worth living for
I hear the demon inside me straining to get out
I see his eyes of hatred glaring up at me
I want to let him out but I am scared to
I am angry and heart-broken
I pretend to understand my meaning of being
I feel the veins in his body pulsing in expectancy
I touch his firm muscles tensing up
I worry that hes getting ready to escape
I cry knowing that he is inside of me
I am angry and heart-broken
I understand that we all have to go sometime
I say why not sooner instead of later
I dream that someone will come for me
I try to make everything ok
I hope that soon I will get help because
I am angry and heart-broken
May 7, 02
Broken Thoughts
Cant control mind
Slightly insane
Loosing thoughts
Broken down to shame
Cant finish my thinking
Sentences with no end
Wanting more than you
You waste of time to spend
Loosing my state of mind
Leaving my broken heart
Trying to consider my actions
Thought wed never part
Left outside to dry,
Rain bringing me back
You used me bad
All around me is black
Slowly loosing you
Isnt hard for me
But my broken thoughts
Are all that I see
Dedicated to Dennis
Come Back
How can you leave me like this?
I am alone in this dismal place
Now I am cut down to nothing
I will never know what I did, or what I can do
You are leaving me out like road kill
That everyone sees but no one stops
I am lying there dead but you just pass right by
You were the only one that I had to hold on to
Now you are not here to hold me back
I spoke with you when I was crying
I spoke with you when I was happy
You always gave me advice and kept me going
Lost I am in this world of hell
Not knowing where my friend has gone
Scared for my life when I couldnt find you
But now it is worse because you are back
Still I cant talk with you
Whatever could I have done that would make me deserve this
Can you not just tell me what happened?
Can you not inform me of what hell you have been through?
Can I not tell you of mine?
This isnt how it used to be
This isnt how it was supposed to be
I loved you but you have left me
My only friend that I had
I will always love you deep down..
You were the only friend that I had
Dedicated to Jason
July 18, 02
So Young
I was so weak,
I was so young,
I was so helpless,
I was so small,
You were so strong,
You were so powerful,
You were giving me no choice,
You were implying that I deserved it,
I can tell who you are,
I can tell what your about,
I can tell by your eyes,
I can tell by your torso,
I remember it pressed against mine,
I remember it pushing me to the side,
I remember its violent sway,
I remember it taking me away
You took me like a rag doll,
You took me under your control,
You took me like an infant,
You took me like the child I was,
August 27, 2002
Ohh, how I wish to be with you
Cry with hatred,
Cry with pain,
Cry with happiness,
Cry with sympathy.
Cry knowing your life will soon end,
Cry knowing its more then almost over,
Cry knowing I love you like crazy,
Cry knowing how much I wish to be with you.
Cry with hatred,
Cry with pain,
Cry with happiness,
Cry with sympathy.
Cry knowing I am not what you want,
Cry knowing you deserve better,
Cry knowing you can have whatever pleases you,
Cry knowing how much I wish to be with you.
Cry with hatred,
Cry with pain,
Cry with happiness,
Cry with sympathy.
Dedicated to Anthony
August 27, 2002
My Murderer, My Love
Cold eyes filled with emptiness
Reach out and hypnotize my heart
How can something so cold
Have my in its grasp?
Firm hands
Murdering my every cell
Grab the knife and slice my pale skin
How can I love my murderer?
Soft, lifeless face
Beautiful yet appalling
Do not speak, do nothing but gaze into my curious eyes
How can something so beautiful cause harm?
My murderer, is that why I love you so?
My murderer.. my love
June 20, 2002
My only fear
Dedicated to Anthony, my true love
Knowing I am not your first is driving me insane
To think of it brings me unbearable pain
You talk as though you really hate her
But, remember that once she was your lover
Tears chase these words that I write
They will follow my thoughts through every night
If I lost you I would surely die
My undying love for you is the reason I cry
I cant contain these feelings Ive dealt
Nor the passion that I have so willingly felt
I hope that you consider these words
Although nothing can change what really hurts
Consider the things that sadden me so
This is the only reason why my tears flow
12-5-02
My World
A little kid, being driven mad,
Slitting my wrists was all I ever had
Loving the most amazing girl,
Giving her anything but the world
Getting lost and loosing my mind,
She soon left me behind
We are all diabolical after all,
So many want to take their fall
Ive lost all that was given to me,
While everyone else danced in glee
I cant blame it on her for ruining my life,
But, I wasnt the only one who had a knife
Scraping it against my milky skin,
Hoping never to see my world again
Taking away that god awful pain I felt,
All of my emotions seemed to melt
I lost my temptation to love once more,
But, now I have found what I wasnt looking for
I know who I will be with for all eternity,
Now you are not the one I yearn to see
To get out of this hell is all I wanted to do,
I just wanted to get out because of you
12-07-02
For Rachel
